Patience is a virtue. One of my students said to me last week, "Ms. Tammy, you are so patient." I let out a laugh of disbelief at her comment, and she laughed with me! Yes, the idea of patience has come close to wearing out its welcome in my book...
The first three months--the first trimester--were definitely the toughest, but now I can honestly say I am enjoying myself. Classroom management is still the constant battle, but I suppose management is the main issue for first-year teachers. I feel that I will become an expert in this area before my contract is up! From what I have been told by other teachers, one could expect to have a similar experience in an inner-city school in the states. But the big difference is that my students are not necessarily disadvantaged, at least not in the same way as the students from inner-cities. The types of behavior will be different, but the students are quite difficult to manage on a daily basis.
I must say that, overall, my students here are not so different from students in other parts of the world. The cultural attitudes towards discipline and behavior are different. For example, students will be relentless in begging to go to the bathroom while I am trying to get the class in order. At almost every class period, I have to tell them that I do not give bathroom passes until after the lesson has begun. But they still beg and follow me around. And saying no bathroom passes period causes an uprising that I like to avoid. Now, I instinctively want to call this rude and unacceptable behavior. Arguing is not acceptable behavior in my mind. No means no, right? The students do not appear to feel the same way, though. I have to be as relentless in getting them to understand what is unacceptable for me.
Also, it is common to be interrupted in the middle of a lesson by other students from other classes who want to chat with their friends. The first time this happened to me, a student came inside the classroom and made rounds to each of her friends, giving them hugs and kisses before I could fully grasp what was going on. Getting the student to leave is tough because she'll say, "one minute," and continue as if it were a perfectly normal thing to do. Perhaps it is! So, I have to stand in front of her and point to the door to get her to leave. And then I have to put up with dirty looks and comments (in Arabic) before I can get my students back on task. Sometimes, this happens several times in one class period!
A few words about culture shock. It is my feeling that culture shock is the most difficult struggle to overcome here. Even though teachers have been told to expect a certain degree of culture shock, I had no idea how strong it could be. Since I have traveled to many different countries, I believed that I would not suffer much from the shock. Boy, was I wrong!
I remember the first time I broke down. I had been in my new apartment for almost two months (it felt so much longer), and I just wanted the internet guy to come and install wireless. Numerous calls and cancellations, three or four different men coming by to unsuccessfully install the box, several visits to the Etisalat headquarters, explaining and re-explaining the situation, advice from other teachers... I just could not get anyone to install the internet service. One might think that my struggles with getting Aengus (my husband) sponsored would be the cause of my breakdown--or perhaps the ceaseless chaos at school. The internet seems like such a trifle to complain about. Yet, after returning home from another long day at work, it would be this simple lack of comfort that caused me to writhe on my couch in anguish. "I just want to go home," I wailed. This was the first of my breakdowns. But not the last.
The second major breakdown was after my husband had been with me for about a month, so I suppose I had been teaching for three months. Time passed much more quickly with him to come home to, but he was not a cure for the sickness I felt in the pit of my stomach. It was Thursday, which is the last day of the week in the UAE, and I just returned home from work. I walked into the living room, curled up on my couch, and did not move. I felt like a child in the throes of shock. I didn't suck my thumb, haha, but I felt a blank expression in my eyes as I lay with my knees tucked into my chest. My husband sat nearby and watched me for who knows how long. After some time, I was able to cry and uncoil while I shook the tears and anguish from my body.
For me, these breakdowns finally helped me to understand culture shock. My experience has been increasingly positive since the realization! Once I understood what was happening to me internally, everything began to change. I was able to start the recovery and acceptance phase. My realization allowed me to change my attitude towards the culture, the students, and the administration. I learned that my attitude was the ONLY thing I had any sort of control over. Since then, my couch curl-ups have steadily decreased.
Some sweet and humorous accounts of my experience thus far. My girls love telling me, "I love you, teacher." Last week during morning assembly, one of the smallest of the bunch said this to me and then burst into giggles. Almost all of my students call me "Teacher" rather than Ms. Tammy.
My classes are right in the middle of the big ECART project, and the theme this trimester is "people who make a difference." I allow them to choose a person from the arts or sciences or a world/political leader. One of the girls said she wanted to do her project on Eminem. I groaned at this. So, I explained that he has too many "bad things" surrounding his life that make him unsuitable for a school project. She argued by saying that I let some girls do their project on Michael Jackson. Somehow I was able to convince her that while Michael Jackson also has "bad things" about his life, Eminem's bad things are almost impossible to avoid and definitely unsuitable for this school. Perhaps there is not such a big difference between the two, but it would be impossible to justify Eminem to the school administration! She accepted this explanation at any rate and switched her topic to Dr. Phil! She is one of my most advanced students. Many of my students also love talking about Barack Obama, and a few have chosen him for their ECART topic. One of my students wrote a really nice essay about him. Perhaps I can share the highlights at some point.
Overall, I am truly enjoying my teaching experience! Another teacher and I have even started an advanced writing group in our school called the Young Author's Club. This club is definitely the highlight of my work. It actually relieves the stress of day-to-day pressures, partly because I can focus on my passion for literature and writing and share it with other passionate young women. It is also the only predictable event at work. Perhaps this is the key to having a positive experience here--relishing in the sweet moments and leaving the bad ones behind!